Im trying. Im trying so fucking hard but Im not getting far at all.

I had therapy today. Thought I was guna be ok but I wasnt. I cried most the way through. I cant stand feeling so lost and alone. I just want a cuddle. I want someone to protect me. I hate crying in sessions, my brain switches off then I cant think or speak and I end up wasting the poor womans time and going home feeling worse than I went in. I know it has helped, I know it has, cuz before I started therapy I was an absolute mess of a person. I was in a damaging relationship, abusing prescription pain killers, stuggling with ED and anxiety. At least some of that is fixed. Maybe I should be greatful for that and stop striving to be completely 'recovered'.

Im exhausted.