Hello =)

Kk, so after my blip last week, I finally got the courage to visit my GP yesterday and tell her how bad things had got. It was hard, I didnt want to admit that I was struggling. I don't know whats happened to me - where have my good days gone? My good days turned into good hours, then good minutes, until I reached this point, where my mood changes every other minute almost. I need to continue with my CBT skills but its hard when one minute I wana recover, and the next minute I think I deserve to suffer. I need to keep challenging these thoughts, and I am for the most part. Im not guna be beaten. No way. Not ever.

So my medication has been increased to maximum dose. This really disapointed me. I didnt want my meds to be upped, I wanted my meds to be DEcreased, and I wana be off them at some point - increasing my dose just put my target of bein clean of medication so much further from my grasp. At the same time, I realise these people are only doing their best for me and I should trust their judgement. I'm guna beat this one day I swear it.

Xxx